or, the subtle and mysterious art of consistently finding and immediately reading the exact-perfect-for-U-right-now book
when i was a child, reading was everything. books took me to worlds i delighted to imagine, answered questions i didn’t know i had. and they were, above all, the friends that i needed, at a time in my life when i often had trouble finding or keeping them.
my parents had a strong influence on me, in this way. the house was filled with books, piles and piles and shelves and shelves. my parents were both always reading. in the morning: newspapers by the kitchen table. in the evening: my dad on his couch, my mom in her bed. reading reading reading. children mimic their parents, and i took to reading like a fish in water.
when i was interested in a topic, i would always check out every book i could find on it at the library. i remember a few areas of interest that i did this with—chess, several times over. detectives and detective agencies. writing and journalism. and always fiction. stories stories stories.
when we went to the bookstore, my mom and i had a deal. she would buy all the books i wanted, as long as i read them. bless her.
when i was sixteen, i had most of the summer to do with what i pleased. i posted on Ask Metafilter about what i should do to make the most of my time. a number of people mentioned reading as much as I could, and one person in particular suggested making my way through some of the books on the reading list at St. John’s College. i poked through their website—built in ASP at the time?—and fell in love with the premise of the school. “too bad i’ll never go there,” i thought to myself—held in the grasp of some limiting belief, i suppose.
i promptly forgot about it until the following year, when my mother suggested that i have a go at reading Colleges That Change Lives by Loren Pope, which featured her alma mater and also the one that would become mine—St. John’s. the College had rolling admissions; i applied the fall of my Senior Year and got in two weeks later.
the four years i spent at St. John’s were, in many ways, among the happiest periods of my life. i loved the books we read, reading them and discussing them and writing about them. i fell in love with Plato and Cervantes, George Eliot and Virginia Woolf. best of all, i had no trouble making friends. i was finally surrounded by people who loved to read as much as i did. i felt at home there in a way i’d never quite felt in my hometown.
that time of my life was also, to date, the period that i read the most. books on the program of studies, and books off of it. i read as much as any one else, and often more. i was an ultramarathoner, loping mile after mile—turning page after page, book after book.
i’ve tracked my reading on Goodreads since i first started using it in high school. in 2011, i started doing their “Reading Challenges”—annual attempts to hit a goal of reading a certain number of books that year1“number of books read per year” is a weird, albeit useful metric. not all books are created equal. heck, not all pages are created equal. reading a thousand page russian novel for the first time is the same as reading a three hundred page math textbook is the same as re-reading a novel U loved in Ur childhood. still, i’ve found it useful as an approximation of my reading rate and a way to notice patterns over time.. over the years, i’ve had more and more misgivings about Goodreads as an interface, but i’ve kept up filing which books i’ve read, and i’ve kept a challenge going each year.
some of the years at St. John’s, i read a hundred or more books a year. when i graduated, things changed. i still read a lot, but not nearly as much as i had been. in 2014, the year after i graduated, my reading rate slid to 61 books a year. in 2016, i hit an all-time low of 32. in 2018, i managed to read 87 books. in 2023, last year, i read 42.
when i trained at a monastery, it was significantly less of an intellectual environment. i was encouraged to meditate in my free time, rather than read books. i still read, though. i read as much as if not more than anyone else there. especially when i got obsessed with military strategy.
my current way of living, on what i call my pilgrimage, can make reading challenging. i don’t have a home, and i limit how many physical objects i own and carry with me quite a bit. i certainly can’t have a reading room or a library of my own filled with piles and piles of books. i keep at most one or two physical books with me, and read the majority of books i read on my phone or iPad.
i guess this post comes from a kind of wistfulness. i’ve missed the years of my life where i read a hundred books a year. i love how books have shaped me, and i’ve wanted to open my heart and life to that influence even more. to rekindle a relationship with reading, to rediscover and rebuild an identity with books as a central part of my life.
zooming out, i’m not alone. in 2021, Venkatesh Rao tweeted that before the internet, he probably read “a couple of hundred books a year,” but now he reads “maybe a couple of dozen. Reading books is just so slow.”
there’s a million new sources of information and entertainment, and they are increasingly compelling. meanwhile, U can certainly find a number of people who will claim attention spans are decreasing and cases of attention deficit disorders are increasing. from that perspective, i’m so screwed. call it cope, but i prefer to think that we spent the last several decades creating an ever-increasing abundance of digital information and we haven’t quite worked out how to flow with that yet.
in a way, my intentions with reading have been similar to those i wrote in a newsletter essay last year, tasshin can meditate as a treat. both meditation and reading have been in a similar state of affairs for me. they are activities i have done a lot of, have loved very deeply, and then somewhere along the line something got twisted and stopped working smoothly for me.
for the last couple of months, i’ve read furiously. there have been days where more or less all i’ve done is read. a few puzzle pieces have finally fit together, and i feel like i’ve largely reshaped my relationship with reading.
this post will articulate what’s helped me to do so, both the perspectives i’ve cultivated and techniques i’ve practiced. by writing them down, i can cement myself in them, establish them clearly in my habits and my life, and return to them as needed. i want this essay to give me context and motivation to read, and to lean towards a future where i read more and more.
i also hope that these words will help others to do the same, should they resonate with what i aspire to and find the suggestions i make here helpful.
how exactly U go about finding the right book at the right time
U know that phrase, the right book at the right time? for a reader, it’s the best feeling in the world. as my friend Isabel says, it’s a drug.
i love the feeling of reading a book that i absolutely must read or i will die. a page turner i can’t put down. the right book at the right time, hand-picked by God Himself for the benefit of Urs Truly.
if i am ridiculously excited about a book, it feels like the most important thing in the world, and my attention is endless. i can read for hours and hours, days and days.
if this book is fiction, it’s an incredible tale well told. or, if it’s nonfiction, it’s usually a book that is helping me to answer a question that’s actively alive, that i am burning with curiosity to answer.
there’s a state of mind, a way of seeing, that has helped me to read more often, to magnetize a book i love into my orbit and then obsessively read it.
to find the right book at the right time, U must first believe, with faith in Ur heart, that there is a right book at every time—that for any given chapter of Ur life, there is a perfect book for U—yes, this very moment, right now.
in my experience, i’ve never found the exact-perfect-for-U-right-now book with my head, by thinking about what book i should read, or trying to read the same books everyone else has read. i find the perfect book for me with my heart, my gut, my body. not as a problem to solve, but a chance to dance with the world and the whole universe.
marie kondo is famous for her method of cleaning and organzing, based on only keeping objects that “spark joy.” these are objects that, when U physically touch them, bring joy and happiness into Ur body. U literally feel happy in Ur body. U can’t judge a book by its cover, but U can judge it by how holding it in Ur hands and turning its pages make U feel in Ur body.
recently i went to a bookstore looking for a book to read. i decided to try an experiment. i put into the field, the heartspace, of the bookstore, what i was looking for. i told the bookstore with my heart that i wanted something physically small, short. i was looking for a novel with a compelling use of language and a plot that would be fun to read, compelling. something that would inspire my own fiction practice, something new, that would shake things up.
as i looked through the books in the shelves, i found a novel that was a pretty slim volume, had a pretty cover that called to me. the description on the back seemed like it might do the job. i read the first page and the poetry of its prose made me feel like, yep, this is it.
my head thought it was sorta risky. it seemed silly to buy a book i’d not heard of before. the book was $17 and that seemed kinda expensive for my budget for a book i didn’t know for sure i was gonna read. but my heart and hands said, this is the one.
i read it furiously over the next couple of days and i loved it. it was just what i was looking for.
and, in a weird twist of fate and further evidence that time is weird, a few weeks later i was browsing a different bookstore, and i found one of those little “staff recommends” cards recommending the book i’d found. if i’d read that recommendation card several weeks earlier, i would have absolutely picked that book as the one. glad i picked it even without the recommendation!
how to make sure U actually read the right book at the right time
here are a number of tips and suggestions that i’ve heard of or found for reading. these are phrased as advice to myself, speaking to myself, but it may resonate with U as well. obviously, feel free to disregard any advice that doesn’t feel like it resonates for U.
be the kinda guy who reads every day. aim to read some of a book every day, even just a little bit.
when U are actively interested in a book, start reading it. strike while the iron is hot. if it’s a physical book, read the first few pages, or even just the first page. if U want to read digitally, send Urself a free sample on Amazon (or find through other means) so U can read the first few chapters. or, if money’s not a concern, buy it straight away and start reading a little bit of it immediately.
if someone recommends a book to U, it’s not a binary decision, to read the book or not. U could, for example, read the first 10 pages of the book and see how it lands for U. or skim the whole thing quickly to get a sense of it.
U can skim books! i give U permission! U can always return to read more, or to read the entirety of the book.
U can cheat on that book Ur not reading with a book U actually want to read. if U find that U aren’t genuinely enjoying a book, feel free to set it aside for a time or quit it entirely—no matter how much U think U should be enjoying it, how much U think logically or rationally U stand to benefit from reading it. it’s just not doing it for U, princess. it’s not alive.
when U read a book, try to finish a complete chapter or section, so that a complete idea or plotline has been expressed, and so that U have a clear stopping point ot come back to.
U love novels! U love stories! U love tales! always be reading at least one novel.
have at least one physical book U are actively interested in reading with U at any given time. physically carry it with U. bring it on walks or to appointments.
if U want, U can take Urself to the bookstore, buy Urself a stack of books, and immediately start reading the one that excites U most. U can afford it! there are some really good books out there! enjoy!!
my ideal way to read would be to have a physical copy of every book i was interested in in a space immediately near me at all times. to have a home filled with books. but i do not own a home.
my hosts typically have books in their homes, and more often than not, the books they’re interested in are interesting to me, too. U can make use of the affordances that are presently available to U by reading the resonant books of the people U stay with.
if, unlike me, U have a home U call Ur own, please take advantage of it. buy books. buy lots of books. buy more books. future Tasshin—if U ever own a home, please fill it with piles and piles and piles of books. thank U.
given the constraints of my life, digital books are generally more serviceable. one nice thing about buying ebooks through Amazon as opposed to acquiring them elsewhere is that Readwise can automatically import Ur notes and highlights, and also, if U like, automatically export them into a notetaking tool of Ur choice, like Tana.
U can start a book group to discuss a book if U want to make sure U read it! inviting a few friends who will find the book interesting, too, can make it easier to start and finish a book that is challenging or dense, but rewarding.
sometimes if i really want to read something, but it’s challenging or a little aversive, i can motivate myself by alternating between doing the high effort but fun good thing (reading the book) and doing something fun, easy, low-effort and motivating (watching an episode of a TV series i’m enjoying).
Cedric Chin’s “land and expand” reading strategy is terrific if there’s a topic U want to learn more about:
- “land” on / start with narrative non-fiction about topics you’re interested in reading; can read these when tired/low-energy
- “expand” into difficult material when you have the opportunity for focused attention
- execute this program in parallel. can read multiple books at once, at multiple difficulty levels
or, if U want to keep it simple U can just, as Isabel puts it, “have a book that feels easy to read and a book that feels challenging going at the same time.”
when U read a non-fiction book, and it has exercises, and U really want to get value out of the book, make sure U actually do the exercises. i know, it takes time and effort. but that’s where the real value lies.
think of it like making and taking an online course just for U. hold Urself accountable. practice self-discipline. it’s okay to skip boring exercises or remix others to make them more interesting. bask in the value of what U learn. have fun.
oh, U have a crush on a girl? yep, it’s a Tuesday. in any case the best thing to do if U have a crush is to read every book they recommend to U.
i love Shelby Smith’s suggestion to use pictures of Ur friends as bookmarks.
i have become the kind of guy who reads books while walking. i love being outside, i love walking, and i love reading. reading books while walking hits that spot for me. (i also love writing while walking. i do my best writing when my legs and the whole world are in it alongside my heart. i’m writing this very paragraph while walking.)
the key to being able to read while walking is expanded awareness. U have to see and hear and feel the whole world around u, even as U place Ur attention on the book in front of U (whether it’s a physical book or a digital book on Ur smartphone). if U’ve no idea what i’m talking about, go and take Michael Ashcroft’s course on Alexander Technique already.
oh, now that i think about it, a certain baseline of self-love also helps. i love myself! i love to read! i love walking, and i love reading while walking! i don’t feel especially self-conscious doing it. i don’t mind if someone else thinks if i look silly for it. i love myself anyway!
conclusion
may U always love reading. may U always find the exact-perfect-for-U-right now book. may what U read bring U joy and benefit, may it take U to beautiful imaginary worlds and transform Ur real life for the better ❤️
further resources
- A curated thread of tweets I’ve found interesting about reading and books
- Books are Not for Reading by River Kenna
- Don’t Read the Canon by River Kenna
Thank U to all my mutuals and friends who inspired me with their own practices of reading, especially Isabel, River, and Anansi. Thanks also to Abi and the Curiosity Department of The Service Guild for helping me cultivate and maintain a delightful reading habit over the years.
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