For most of my childhood and as a young adult, I had no interest in power. I was interested in chess, and books, and writing—in following my own curiosity, without justifying what I was doing or why, and without needing to share with others what I learned.
My relationship with Power came into question, and eventually transformation, when I trained at what is now called the Monastic Academy (MAPLE).
Training at MAPLE re-wired my relationship with power. Instead of implicitly avoiding it, power was forced upon me. I progressively held a series of different roles, from more minor roles like kitchen manager all the way to being the Fundraising Director and Assistant Director, or being part of the core team of monastics helping to start a new California branch of the monastery. Whenever a role became too easy or familiar, we would be graduated into a new, more challenging role that would force us to develop new skills or capacities.
My teacher, Soryu, really embodied what we were trying to cultivate: trustworthy leaders. He was a wise, loving being with an abundance of power and skill. He also had deep belief in me, that I was a good person, that I was worthy of having and using power, also, because I would use it for good, for the world’s benefit, for the benefit of all living beings. He showed me that again and again, in interactions small and large.
Years of this kind of leadership training changed me. I learned to follow, to lead, to manage projects, to do fundraising. I developed an obsessive interest in productivity, strategy, organizational design and psychology. Gradually, I noticed that I really, deeply cared about power—authentically.
In retrospect, it wasn’t that I was indoctrinated into a view of caring about power. Instead, it was that the artificial barriers to owning the power that I already had were being questioned, dissolved, and replaced with a more authentic connection to a genuine desire to serve, to be of benefit, to have a meaningful, deep impact with my life.
The goal of my education at that time was to be able to run a monastery. To be a trustworthy, enlightened leader that could help a large number of people to also deepen their spiritual practice, and serve the world. That changed when I left MAPLE. Gradually, I discovered a new purpose: founding what is now called The Service Guild.
I absolutely wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing now without having received all of that training, without having come to terms with my relationship with power, and having gained new skills in wielding it.
Having come into right relationship with my own power, and the use of it—such that I have, anyway—I look around and am often concerned with others’ relationships with power. It’s not that I’m afraid of how people will use their power—I’m afraid of how they will avoid it, deny it, waste it.
Contrapoints, via Cate Hall
We might call this the anti-power meme, à la Daniel Golliher’s anti-politics meme: the resistance to power, the belief that it is intrinsically evil—as well as its tendency to memetically reproduce and spread, to punish and shame those who have power, and to dissuade people from owning their power, from using it, or pursuing more.
I would counter this perspective with the following: power is like a knife. U can use it to make a delicious, healthy dinner, or U can cut urself or another person.
It infuriates me when people rightly notice, within the metaphor, that knives are sharp, and then proceed to generalize based on that information to say that knives are bad.
It infuriates me because it’s wrong. Knives aren’t bad. Making a healthy salad that tastes delicious and nourishes ur body isn’t bad. Stabbing people is bad. Accidentally cutting off your fingers is bad.
Power isn’t bad. Yes, people can abuse power. Yes, people can be harmed by power, even intentionally. But power just exists. There is power! People have it, including U. U are more powerful than U know, than U may be letting urself see. So often, seeing power as bad implies a victim mentality, which occludes the power we all already have in its shadow.
U just do have a knife! Stop pretending U don’t have one in ur hands. Don’t run away, and pretend sharpness doesn’t exist. Don’t call sharpness bad, or those who use knives evil. Instead, learn to wield the knife U already have. The world needs that from U.
Admitting U are powerful, owning the power U already have, and learning to wield it with skill and precision will be for the world’s benefit, and for ur joy and fulfillment.
Consider the case of productivity, which I have learned a tremendous amount about and actively evangelize. Productivity is a form of power, and thus is like a knife in this way. Many people criticize productivity, as something intrinsically detrimental and harmful.
I would say that if U use productivity out of alignment with ur values, in conflict with ur vow, U will harm urself. U will burn out, U will need coercion to do anything, and U will distrust urself as a result
If, on the other hand, U use it in alignment with ur values, in service of ur vow, it will bring U joy and happiness, and ur communities and the world will benefit.
Power exists. It just does. We all have some power, and we are all subject to power. Rather than cultivating ignorance and illiteracy about power, we should cultivate familiarity and skillfulness with it—and then proceed to use our power for good, for the benefit of ourselves, our loved ones, our communities, and ultimately the world.
Thank U to Andrew Rose for our conversations about this topic, and ur feedback on this post; thank U to Daniel Golliher for inspiring both of us and this blog post.